Over the next nine days he experienced two cycles where we really thought he’d lost his mind. He saw people all night long, some who shook him and screamed at him. They told him they were going to kill him or one of his children if he didn’t shut up. In his mind my brother […]
The Body, the Brain, and the Sucker Punch – Part V Do You See What I See
Understand I can only imagine what my father actually feels. I know this narrative is one-sided, comprised of my own thoughts and versions of the facts. That’s to be expected, but I do try to imagine how reality must appear to my father. When the only artifacts of LBD consisted of fuzzy balls, dragonflies, and texture […]
The Body, the Brain, and the Sucker Punch – Part IV The Revolution will be Televised
As my father’s health began to change in the summer of 2013, I admit we didn’t see the full magnitude. Disturbed sleeping patterns were hard for me to discern since I spent only one day a week with him sleeping in my home. I might hear him cry out once or twice. He might rise […]
The Body, the Brain, and the Sucker Punch – Part III There’s a Storm Coming
Understanding Lewy Body Dementia takes a few readings. I’ve met two types of people with regard to this disease; those who know exactly what it is and those who have no clue. Everyone knows what a heart attack is, even if they don’t know someone who’s had one. But this one is different. It sounds […]
The Body, the Brain, and the Sucker Punch – Part II The Autumn of our Discontent
My father moved in with my brother Labor Day weekend of 2010. Snapper and I drove the 400 miles in a van to load his possessions. While it was kind of sad to think, we knew this was a momentous event. More than likely this would be the last time either of us visited the […]
The Body, the Brain, and the Sucker Punch – Part I: In The Beginning
My father is dying. Slowly. As he lies in his bed at hospice I sit here in comfort in my office wondering how in the hell I’m going to process this in some way to make it digestible. It’s a nebulous thought, still detached from my reality like the trip one plans to take in […]
Random thoughts on time management
It’s Saturday and I’m up again with purpose. Dad is in a new home and I have to leave soon, but I want to dash down some thoughts. Forcing myself to write is the only way to get enough content out it seems. These weekend mornings serve as a sounding board but in blog-sized bites. […]
The struggle to be present
My father’s illness is a brutal one, both physically and mentally on him and his family. His Parkinsons causes him discomfort for sure and requires those around him to help. His dementia requires they think for him and it robs him of being present. He gets lost in a sea of memories and stimulus, creating […]
Perception and reality
It’s Saturday and it’s been a long week. My father is ill and I’ve spent a lot of time this week at the hospital. Apparently stress to a body system can cause delirium in an older person; acute delirium. The show that’s going on in my father’s head must be shockingly vivid considering the hand […]
Let the river flow – or the Vulcan Buddhist
I think of myself as the Vulcan Buddhist. Vulcans aren’t emotionless as much as they’re super control freaks. Recognizing the volatile nature of emotion, they chose to place emotion in the back seat and mutually agreed to get along for the better of Vulcan. Emotion is therefore controlled and in most cases suppressed. A Buddhist […]